Anatomy of a Chump

This is the 31 year-old billionaire who, after developing his own Apprentice-style reality TV show, bought Manchester City on behalf of the Abu Dhabi United Group. But after signing Brazilian Robinho for $65 million, he went a little nuts, cavorting with celebrities around the world and making ludicrous predictions about who he’ll sign next and what they’ll win. When the real board was formed, he was quickly sidelined.

Premature inauguration
“I am the new Abramovich,” he declared when buying middling English Premiership club Manchester City, even though he wasn’t named club president. And is a Russian mafia affiliate really a football role model?

Unrealistic expectations
Al-Fahim gave City’s accomplished young manager Mark Hughes just three years to win the Champions League. Even though City haven’t ever qualified for the Champions League...

Wise spending
In addition to buying Robinho from Madrid, he offered $55 million for Dimitar Berbatov, $60 million for Fernando Torres and a blank cheque for Ruud van Nistelrooy. He then said he would pay $240m for Cristiano Ronaldo. “We are going to be the biggest club in the world,” he lied.

Fantasy football
He has also stated his desire to sign Lionel Messi, Sergio Ramos, Javier Mascherano, Philip Lahm, Fabio Cannavaro, and Kaká, even if it cost a billion dollars – which it probably would.

Tabloid fodder
The slew of pictures with models and actresses left the real owner of the club, Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed, wondering if al-Fahim is portraying the board in the most favourable light. Al-Fahim has already been snapped with Pamela Anderson, Demi Moore and Kim Kardashian – who he just happened to run into at the opening of a Las Vegas restaurant.

Upsetting the real power brokers
“We are sensible people,” said City’s actual team president, Khaldoun al-Mubarak. “Forget everything that has been said in the past. Nothing rash is going to happen, we are not going to do crazy stuff.” Like posing with Kim Kardashian and spending a billion on the Brazil national side.