How big should I be?

Q: The male endless dilemma: How big Should I be?
A: So you stood in front of the mirror looking at it from ten different angles, brought a ruler, measured and cheated yourself by adding an extra centimetre or two. Don’t worry about it: you’re totally normal. Our male obsession with penis size goes to the extent that some tribes in Brazil allow snakes to bite their penises in order to enlarge them to enormous sizes for a few months. So if you thought Ronaldo wasn’t running well because he’d gained weight, think again...

Other than the miserable expression on the wife’s face on the wedding night – we’ll presume she’s not seen it before solely for social propriety – many men cannot really tell if they are small or large. The worst thing you can do is gaze in awe at male porn stars. Don’t: they were chosen for a good reason. The ability to carry 20 donuts even with both of their arms amputated is not one most of us share.

The average erect penis ranges from 12.7cm to 16.4cm – or 6.8cm and 10.4cm when not staring at Dominique Hourani videos. Size doesn’t change much with age. Oddly, Turkish men came out among the smallest – (sorry Muhannad lovers) – while gay men seemed to be 1cm larger than the rest of us. 

And the next time you see a girl looking longingly at another man’s shoes, remind her that it’s very difficult to predict “size” from foot or hand size. Or a man’s height.
So, unless you hear the phrase “is it in?” repeatedly, chances are you’re perfectly normal.