How to miss a day of work

“I have food poisoning. I know this keeps happening just before or after a long weekend, but if you want a proof I am calling you from the bathroom right now. (Flushes toilet).” 

 

“I am going to my friend’s wedding. It is going to be in Dubai, and I must be there. We took three classes together in my junior year in college and we have not talked since – but he is very special to me.”

 

“I have anger management issues and if I show up today someone is going to get hurt. Remember Michael Douglas in Falling Down? My doctor said I might be on the verge of something like that…”

 

“I will be working from home today. There is no need for me to be in the office and I can concentrate better without all the distractions of people asking me to do my job properly. Seriously, I think I work better on the couch.” 

 

“I think I have swine flu so I took myself to Prince Hamzah hospital where I’m being quarantined – and they won’t let me leave for another week. They say it is a matter of national security.”

 

“I have to run a lot of errands today. I have to go to the bank then head to Marka to renew my driver’s license, then I have to pay my land tax, and by the time I get back the plumber will be waiting for me to fix the kitchen sink. And I might be late tomorrow as I still haven’t had a chance to get to the bank…” 

 

“My friend is visiting from overseas. I want to show her – err I mean him – our beautiful country so that we can change negative stereotypes about our region.” 

 

“I am depressed. The world economic crisis was just too much... the war in Yemen...the earthquake in Indonesia... I just can’t take it anymore. You know doctors say that depression is a serious disorder that inhibits your ability to function (sob), don’t you?”

 

“I need a break after a vacation. I just got back from a weekend trip to Taba and we partied so hard I am honestly still hungover. I need a day to kick back and get my body rejuvenated and ready for work.”