Apr 2001
In this issue:
Features
Top 10 Middle East Hotels to avoid
It’s now tourist season, most of us will be spending some time in one of the region’s 32 million hotels. But, trust us, it might be better to avoid these…
Issue: Apr, 2008
The Carlton
Locaton: Damascus, Syria
Hotel stars: 4
Average rate: $110
Annoyances: One big, life-threatening safety hazard
Description: Appearances can be deceptive. And when Yussuf Aboud commented that “the rooms were old, bathrooms dirty and eating at the restaurant left most of us with stomach aches”, it might have just been post-travel fatigue. Sadly, that turned out to be the best part of this supposedly four-star hotel. “A fire started on one of the lower floors, but the alarm on the fifth floor, where we were staying, didn’t work. We only knew because of the heavy smoke that seeped in,” he told us. In the corridor, there were no emergency lights, so Yussuf had to crawl along with everyone else to the emergency staircase. Of course, the door to the fire escape was locked. “One of the guys from my group finally managed to break it open, and we only just got out of the hotel before suffocating.” As the guests were waiting outside, Julie says that the hotel staff lounges about smoking, avoiding all eye contact with anyone from her group. “They acted like it was very normal; I was freaking out and no one came to update us on the situation. Stay somewhere else, people. This hotel is a deathtrap!”
Dubai Palm Hotel
Location: Deira, Dubai
Hotel stars: 3
Average rate: $75
Annoyances: Filth-ridden sheets, toilet that leaks its contents onto the bathroom floor, black carpets (not original colour), all-night disco under your bed
Description: Surely even a 3-star hotel in Dubai, the regional capital of service, must be clean and comfortable, no? Er, no. The dank, oppressive rooms contained moist carpets near the bathroom, the sheets hadn’t been changed since Sheikh Maktoum became ruler, and there was a thin, indeterminate black coating on the sink and bathtub. And even if you’re not perturbed from climbing into bed fully-clothed, there isn’t much chance of getting any proper shut-eye with the disco continuing on to 3am. Especially when the hoovering of the hallway – always right outside your room –starts at 5am. It is at this point that the noisy A/C becomes a blessing. The last molecules of any optimism left are shattered once you go down in the morning to breakfast in the same room that serves as the disco. The long-expired milk for the coffee is served out of a tin, floors were littered with cigarettes, and tables were still covered with last night’s dirty dishes and cups. The friendly but startlingly inept staff only smile and nod at your complaint. The strange feeling you get when you check out your bags and are on your way to another hotel can only be describes as euphoric.
Delta Pyramids Hotel
Location: Giza, Egypt
Hotel stars: 4
Average rate: $100
Annoyance: Slime-ridden bathrooms, inoperable windows, no A/C, and ghetto neighbourhood that never threatens to go to bed
Description: Fancy basking in the glory of the Pyramids while a traffic officer provides a one-man accompaniment of shouts, spits, slams and sinus clearances? Welcome to the Delta. Of course, that’s if you get a Pyramid view – a junkyard or unfinished wall awaits those who opt out of the “quiet” of the rear. The downstairs restaurant is like a steam room since the A/C is still “being fixed” after eight years, any food you’re stupid enough to order comes with a free side-order of 84 flies.
The rooms themselves look like they’re only cleaned after a homicide; the corner of one was home to an unidentified creature (a sort of wormy-leech thing – our deputy editor wasn’t really concentrating), while one NOX contributor described the neighbourhood in less than glowing terms. “On the King Faysal Road, shop owners can become aggressive when you refuse to buy from them. One man threatened us with his ‘important’ family!”
Shezan Hotel
Location: Doha, Qatar
Hotel stars: 3
Average rate: $230
Annoyances: Basically, a bed in a curry house
Description: The website claimed that the hotel was 5km away from the city centre, with 60 “well-equipped” rooms. What it should have said, according to Rashid Omar, was that those rooms were suicidally miserable. “The carpet and the chairs were covered with holes, the bathroom was falling apart, and nothing worked. It was just… dingy.” To make matters worse, a third of the TV channels were porn. “Not that I’m complaining… It just sort of freaked me out. I mean, what if they did it on purpose so they can watch people watching porn?” It seems it was meant for visitors who require it for, erm, much shorter stays – and had the lingering “Amsterdam” smell to prove it.
Golden Oasis
Location: Muscat, Oman
Hotel stars: 3
Average rate: $90
Annoyances: Fanta-coloured water, sheets and carpet from the 70s (and possibly the 1870s), arbitrary charging
Description: Although a 3-star hotel Muscat should top your expectations of comfort, the Golden Oasis is one of those experiences you desperately try to erase from memory – only for it to keep you awake at night with the sheer skin-crawling horror of it all. The porters maintain the trolleys in their original state of shininess, mainly because they don’t actually use the damn things; housekeeping has to be dragged to the room to cover the crumbling foam mattresses with stained sheets; towels are considered a Western luxury; reception has to be called repeatedly to demonstrate how hot water can be accessed, and when it does come – from taps that screech like a skinned cat being boiled alive – it is a fizzy orange colour.
Moreover, when checking out, if guests don’t have the rate confirmation in printed form, management will make the most of it and try to filch twice the price. Plus the hotel is in the middle of a no-man’s land, making the Golden Oasis comes off more like a snake pit.
For the full version of this article, see NOX21
